dealing with pain – True Vine Living

Winter Blues

Read Time 4 Minutes

The season of winter provides for many people a wonderland of snow, outdoor sports activities, warm fires and hot chocolate, and many other delights that are special to this time of year.

For some, however, this cold season can seem long sometimes leading to a feeling of sadness, mood swings, and even depression. This is particularly true for those that live in colder and less sunny climates. This seasonal change in mood has been labeled (SAD) Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Seasonal change, of course, is just one in many reasons people deal with sadness and depression. Traumatic circumstances and “seasons of life” may also cause these changes in our mood. Times like these can be mild to severe. They can come on slowly or be sudden. I personally experienced many years ago an unexpected and sudden attack of full on depression!

In the fall of 1986, I excitedly began my freshman year at Texas A&M University. I was ready to experience college, all the unmatched Aggie traditions, and even the academics! The fall semester was filled with new experiences…college football games, roommates, large academic classes, and new independence with very little parental oversight. On the flip side, it also revealed that I felt very different being a little fish in a VERY big sea! In high school, I was very involved and active with friends with a feeling of belonging. I had a cozy home with family and a homecooked meal at the end of each day. That first college semester began to become a time of identifying where my place was in this new vast world that I now found myself.

And then, right before Christmas break, I received word that my grandpa had suddenly passed away! It felt shocking! My grandpa was so special to me! I had to make arrangements to take my finals so that I could fly to Denver with my sister to be with my grandma. Over the Christmas break, in one intense moment, I felt a dark heaviness set over me… a feeling of dread, fear, and confusion. People did not really talk about depression back then, so I didn’t really know what was happening to me or how to seek help.

I returned to college for the second semester only to encounter no relief from the daily depression. Strangely, the only reprieve I got from the torment was when I threw myself into studies. The moment I stopped studying, I would cave in and fear even more! I had been a Christian most of my life, so I prayed and prayed, but could not find the peace. Months in, I began to question if God was even there…did He even exist? I would tell myself the truth…that He did, but it did not change the cycle of dreadful thoughts. Finally, I decided to go to the campus emergency counseling office. In that one hour emergency session, the lady asked me if I thought about suicide. I told her that I didn’t think I would take my life, but that I was beginning to get fearful of the thought of getting to that point. She told me that people who commit suicide see themselves in a box and they do NOT see anyway out of the box. She asked if I saw a way out of the box. In that moment, God revealed Himself mightily to me! I pictured a big square in my mind. That square had one door opened in it. That door showed me that my One Hope was God and He was there for me!!

I didn’t instantly get better, but that confirmation of hope in Him spurred me on to trust Him, believe His promises that I knew, and cling to Him for the right thoughts. As I continually and purposefully pushed out every fear and confusing thought and replaced them with real truths no matter how I felt in the moment, I began to heal. This healing led to a strengthening in my faith which would in turn serve me well in the future. When the next valley would inevitably arrive, I was more prepared to trust God. Now I knew that the “valleys of life” provided opportunity, growth, and the ability see God’s glory manifested!

“For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

If you or someone you know is experiencing “winter blues” or even severe depression brought on by circumstances in life…grab onto or encourage them to grab hold of true hope that is an anchor for our souls! (Hebrews 6:19) Maybe my story can be of some help as well.

The Bible is full of many verses that are helpful promises and commands from our Loving and All-mighty God. When we are struggling, we can recite them and put them into practice continually and purposefully to replace the fears and confusion just as I did many years ago. Here is one of my favorites:

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

There are 3 lovingly prepared actions above that God asks us to do. Simply put…rejoice, pray, and give thanks. Choosing to turn to these actions anytime the fearful feelings surface moves us onto a healing and victorious path. Some people find it helpful to keep a grateful journal. This is one way to rejoice and give thanks. However you carry out these actions, remember that the most important reason to rejoice and give thanks is truly because we have a living hope in Jesus, and because of who we are in Christ…a child of God! This is the kind of rejoicing that moves us into His perfect peace!

Another Bible verse that proves timeless in helping so many people as they deal with anxieties and fears is:

“…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Did you catch the similar actions on our part…prayer and thanksgiving? In this passage, we also see a beautiful promise from God revealed when we do as He says. We can have the “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding”! Also, our hearts and our minds will be guarded by His perfect provisions. This is what we need to be victorious when faced with discouragement, sadness, anxiety, and depression!

I hope you along with me will reach out and take God’s hand no matter what the season and no matter what we are going through now and in the future.

May we experience His perfect peace!

Trapped!!

Read Time 4 Minutes

I recently visited a dear friend who is literally trapped in her own body as she has a rare neurodegenerative disorder called MSA. Her mind and her sweet and jovial personality are intact, but her muscle movement has slowed and become so ridged that she can no longer care for herself physically. This is a very sad and tragic life situation that will not get better, yet, my sweet friend continues to radiate the love of Jesus in her caring ways. She made a phone call to me recently when my dad passed away even though it is very hard for her to talk. She delights when friends come to visit and soaks in the joy of the moments not spending the time complaining. She was a Christian mentor to me years ago during a very tough time in my life, and she continues to be an inspiration as she endures her present circumstances with grace and dignity!

While we won’t all experience such an extreme level of physical bondage, many of us will encounter times where we feel trapped! Difficult illnesses, abusive marriages, depression, and financial struggles are just some examples of how life can make us feel like we are in a physical or emotional prison without escape.

Sometimes, we can feel frustrated and trapped even in the smaller moments of life. Last month, I experienced a lot of pain in my hands and wasn’t able to get chores done at the pace I wanted to accomplish them. Every task was tedious and painful. In these smaller moments of feeling a bit trapped, I find myself saying, “My situation is nothing compared to what some other friends around me are experiencing.” While this is a thought that can help me put my situation into perspective, it’s also important for me to remember that what I feel is not insignificant. God cares about me in every situation big and small, good and bad. Just as I must rely upon Him during monumental struggles, I must also rely on Him in smaller struggles to endure, be comforted, and grow in my trust and faith of His perfect ways.

Right now, you may be feeling trapped in a very big way, or like me, you might be having a smaller struggle. Either way, the solution is the same…seek God and the strength and abundant endurance that He supplies in His perfect love!

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

It is not uncommon for some people, even Christians, to get mad at God when it feels like walls are closing in and a situation feels impossible! When that temptation comes, it is helpful to remember that Jesus Himself was trapped in what seemed like impossible circumstances.

Jesus, who is God, and whom all things are under His authority, willingly allowed Himself to be contained into a human baby body. He did this, of course, to make a way for our salvation. But, he also did such an amazing act of love for us in order for us to know how much He can sympathize with us and identify with us in our struggles while on earth! Furthermore, He allowed Himself to be trapped by guards and be carried away for a most horrific death because He loves us so much! He endured all this for the joy set before Him in knowing that many would choose Him throughout the centuries and would one day be in paradise with Him! And, we know that the story does not end with His death. He rose again, ascended to Heaven, and He is with us to the end of the age! He is interceding for us right now on behalf of us in our weaknesses and our struggles!

God has given us everything we need to triumph in the impossible and to experience freedom even when we feel trapped! His word tells us that we will have sorrow, struggles, and trouble in this world, but He has overcome this world. He gives us immediate help when we seek Him whether it be comfort and inspiration to get through our hard time or whether it be instant solutions. He also insures hope for our future!

During tough times, I often think about survival stories told by Vietnam POW veterans who were trapped in unthinkable conditions. Many of them were prisoners’ for over 7 years. When reading the personal accounts of these men, so many of them attribute their survival to their faith in God. Below, are two excerpts from Captain Gerald Coffee who was a POW for 7 years and 9 days.

“I prayed a lot,” Coffee said. “At first I expected God to do everything for me, but when I realized that this would be my life for a while, the nature of my prayers started to change. Instead of praying, ‘Why me?’ I started to pray, ‘How can I change?’”

“All those years, the Vietnamese tried to rape our spirits and our faith, but they couldn’t do it,” he said. “I was never really alone in that cell. Not with Him by my side.”

Coffee’s words are a very big testament to the power and strength one can have in the face of horrific circumstances when you truly put your faith in our almighty and loving God!

Let us each choose today no matter our circumstances to walk moment by moment in the strength of the One whose grace is always sufficient!

“…but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

Good Tidings

“Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

“Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” Luke 2: 10-14

“Good tidings of great JOY”…the JOY of the birth of Jesus! The JOY that is ours because He was born in Bethlehem that night long ago! Isn’t this what Christmas is all about? The JOY set before us… Comfort and JOY…JOY to the world! For the Christian, this is the theme of Christmas, JOY because of the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

I hope this Christmas season (2023) finds you feeling the great JOY there is to be felt at this celebratory time of year. However, you might be one of many who are struggling to grasp that joy and even feel guilty that you are not feeling it! You might be experiencing a present hardship or tragedy, or maybe you are still unreconciled from past hurts. Maybe you are feeling depressed or just overwhelmed with life and can’t seem to feel the joy right now that this season reminds of us.

So, what can I offer in the way of encouragement that hasn’t already been talked about and written about concerning JOY? In this blog post, I hope to encourage you by sharing my own “Aha moments” through my life journey in discovering how to experience JOY in each and every circumstance. If you are on a mountain high right now and don’t need reminders of how to experience joy, then maybe you can store up new thoughts for the future when indeed you may find yourself struggling once again. If you need help right now, then I hope my thoughts might lift you up today.

It is almost a given that anyone reading this article has experienced hardships and hurts in their lives. I have too…some in early childhood and others as an adult. It was during a very tragic event in my life 16 years ago that I truly learned what it means to experience both sorrow and joy at the same time. Without going into much detail, I experienced the ultimate rejection a woman can experience (which ended my 19-year marriage)! It was then that I learned what it meant to not just say, “I have faith in God”…I learned how to actually cling to that faith, hold God’s hand, and actually live out my faith. I experienced great sorrow at what was a sudden and unexpected change in my life. All I could do was cry out to God for strength, comfort, wisdom, and love. When all I could do was count on Him, I learned the secret of JOY…simply discovering Him in His fullness! I learned that I can exist in a victorious state right along with the pain. When you realize that you are truly in a relationship that can NEVER disappoint because God keeps His promises and never changes His love for you, then you can find the greatest JOY available!

Now, you might think that after that experience, I would never have to struggle again to understand JOY, but sometimes I slide backwards. When I do, God gives me more big moments to remember again just how good He is!

While I have not experienced in recent years another tragedy on the level of the one I just shared about, I have experienced some other difficult circumstances. One of those times when God taught me something new was during the uncertainty and unsettled feelings that the Covid Pandemic brought on. In a blog post during that time a few years ago, I wrote about another discovery of joy. To understand this discovery, think about your heart (the emotional part of your heart) being like a bucket. You can pile it with all kinds of objects. You can fill it with unpleasantries, you can fill it with things that seem good but don’t really help you, or you can fill it with delightful things that lead to joy. Think of this bucket as your “joy bucket”. With that in mind, read the following excerpt from my post in 2020…

“I find it a daily struggle to stay positive and grab hold of all the peace and joy available to me through God in the midst of so many negative issues in our country. A couple of nights ago, God made it clear to me why I have been struggling with this matter of joy. I have the head knowledge and the experiential knowledge of joy, and I have been praying to feel God’s peace and joy during these tough times; however, I was forgetting a very important action on my part. I was forgetting to actually REJOICE! When I choose to rejoice, then the “joy bucket” in me begins to be filled up. Because each day seems to be filled with so much negativism in the media and in the conversations of so many, the negatives have been the focus and what I have been piling in my bucket. The negatives we are all facing were the big things in my mind that were depleting my “joy bucket”. I needed to adjust my thoughts by beginning with the action of rejoicing.

I am now consciously taking action each day. I am choosing to REJOICE in who I am in God. Just the simple fact that I am His puts me in an overriding victorious circumstance at all times no matter what is going on in this world. I am His, a child of the one true King. My life will always be abundant because He is always good to me. He promises to get me through anything I face in my life. I am secure in eternity because of my salvation through Jesus Christ. Because He lives, I can face each day with confidence. With this kind of security, why would I not choose to rejoice every day! I hope that you too can choose with full confidence and peace to REJOICE in knowing God, His goodness, and His Son, Jesus! Join me in filling our “joy buckets” with all the fullness of His goodness today!”

Our Christmas story is the perfect reminder of Rejoicing! You can find the Biblical evidence of how Mary rejoiced (Luke 1:47), the angels rejoiced (Luke 2: 10-14, the Shepherds rejoiced (Luke 2:20) , and the Wise Men rejoiced (Matthew 2:10) in very difficult circumstances.

If you are not sure how to have this ultimate JOY, you can choose to open the greatest gift right now and experience the true JOY of Christmas this year! JESUS is the everlasting Gift! He came as a baby so that He could die on the cross for our sins. You just have to ask Him into your heart and make Him your King by admitting that you are a sinner and there is nothing you can do to save yourself. Acknowledge that Jesus died on the cross to take the punishment for your sin and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior this Christmas! Then you too can experience real JOY no matter your circumstances!

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

“For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13

May this Christmas find you RECJOICING no matter what because of the glorious gift of JESUS!

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12