Marking Time

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As 2020 draws to a close, I find myself like many Americans wanting to check off another day, and get this year concluded! Weary is how this year has left me, and I have often felt myself succumb to the feeling of just “marking time”. It has been a struggle to overcome this attitude in light of all the events that have unfolded this year!

Covid-19 with it’s deaths, sicknesses, and all the politicalisms that are attached to this virus have worn our spirits thin. Businesses closing, jobs lost, school children learning in isolation, depression, suicides, and a huge lack of trust in leaders are additional results of this pandemic. People have felt alone in hospitals without family being allowed to visit. Assisted living facilities have been on lock-down. Weddings and other celebrations have been whittled down to the bear minimum. Add to that a divided country, riots, and a crazy election, and you have many great big reasons to leave this year behind!

The struggle this year has been personal. My husband and I had just made a major move a couple of months prior to the onset of 2020. We moved from Texas to Washington far away from family and friends and all the familiarity that came from having lived in Texas for 47 years of my life. We moved because God led my husband to pastor a small church in Bremerton, WA. I retired from 28 years of teaching and started my own personal training business. We came with the excitement of God’s plans for us and the enjoyment of getting to make new friends. Still, we knew that any big move or change has its challenges. These changes along with the combination of all the events during this historic year have certainly tested my endurance. Church services had to go to online for a time period and continue to be altered. My business has for the most part been shut down by the pandemic. Quite honestly, this year has been testing the daily “trusting God” part of my faith as I wrestle with a variety of feelings each day.

Over the years I have had a good share of difficult times in my life that have grown my faith. I’ve experienced tragic death, unexpected divorce, rejection and deception, and major medical trauma. Through these trials, I was able to learn first hand how God gets me through every trial and works all things for my good. I have grown deeper in my walk with Him through these experiences and hardships. I have learned to know great sorrow, but also have JOY as I walk hand in hand with God navigating troubled times. I’ve learned to believe and trust that no matter what comes my way, God will sustain me. However, even with all I have experienced and learned, God does not seem to be finished refining my faith. I’ve asked God this year, “Why after all I’ve been through and all I have learned and know about Your all sufficiency, do I struggle with anxiety and other emotions in 2020?” I think this year, He has shown me that He wants me to rely on Him even more every moment of the day! He is not just for the major trials that knock us off our feet. His strength is for every aspect of our day in order to conquer the enemies of anxiety, fear, self-pity, and isolation. He wants to take me into an even deeper walk with him. For this, I am thankful. God loves me so much that He keeps growing me and drawing me closer to Him!

“Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4

I think what I have felt this year, many others have felt as well… “Let me just check off another day and move on”. I know that God has been telling me not to have this attitude and to not let the negative feelings have any control over me. I think what God is teaching me through 2020 is not to just MARK TIME when I feel overwhelmed with wrong feelings, or I feel disenchanted. He wants me to live each day to the fullest making the most of every moment that He gives me. Each day He gives me is not a mistake, it is a gift!

The following verses reveal that we are certainly not meant to “mark time” with the days that God gives us. These verses are a dose of good medicine for me, and maybe they can help you as well to finish out 2020 victoriously through Him (Philippians 4:13) making the most of every day!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own understanding;
 think about Him in all your ways,
and He will guide you on the right paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,  knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Colossians 3:23-24

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ³⁸ This is the great and first commandment. ³⁹ And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37-39

“And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17

 “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” Ephesians 5:15-16

“Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,  accepting one another and forgiving one another…” Colossians 3:12-13 

Who knows what 2021 will have to offer, but with God on our side (Psalm 118:6), we can make every day count! There is much to accomplish in the work God has given each of us, moments to show care towards others, and time to love God with all of our heart and spend time with Him every day. I want to finish out this year having learned better how to make all moments count and not just check off another day. Hopefully, by sharing my struggle this year, I have used my time today well and offered some encouragement that might help you too! Keep looking up!

“This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24